Today was a busy day and so I purposely didn’t scheduled any time to write. I have had thinking time – see my post Creating space to think – to figure out the direction my work in progress is headed.
I am writing a 30,000 word novella about a conservation ranger who has just taken custody of his three children and hasn’t seen them since he was thrown out of the family hone three years ago for drinking.
The tricky thing is that I keep changing my mind and I no longer have the luxury of lots of time. I want a reader to feel satisfied if they are going to take time out to read 30,000 of my strung together words. (This writing mularky is a huge responsibility!) I feel like I need lots to happen rather than leave a reader feeling flat but then I want to be able to write well enough that writing about nothing can be something.
Does that even make sense?
It feels like every different craft book I read has a criticism of whatever I think I want to do. Epiphanies – they’re old hat. First person – don’t do it as you’ll ‘tell’ rather than ‘show’. Twist endings are naff. Then I read fiction to inspire me and instead it makes me feel so incompetent in comparison. Then I procrastinate online and realise the world is full of wannabe writers and feel like I’m drowning.
Maybe on days like these I need to remember my ‘why’ and honestly for me I just finally woke up and realised I was wasting a lot of energy convincing myself I didn’t want to be a writer all the time. If I focused all that energy and just got on with ‘trying’ to write maybe that would be more productive.
I’m doing OK in my Masters, I don’t think I would have entertained creating this website had I not been. I earn a living writing blogs, reviews, white papers and creating website copy which feels amazing and provides great flexibility.
Writing a story and sending it somewhere still feels impossible.
I’m being honest with how I feel because I know this is a continuous blip in the process. I hope it is. I have about 32 days to write and edit another 20k words.
One day my novella wants to be a tragedy then a horror, thriller, fantasy, rite of passage, characters are going to be killed off then they aren’t … eeek!
First car, first car, first car!
Tip : try telling yourself your first stab at a novel is like buying your first car. You may get lucky but the odds are on favour that you’ll have a crash in it. Hopefully you have the spirit to dust yourself down and get back in a driving seat, confident in the knowledge that you are now a better driver with less chance of further crashes as you have the benefit of hindsight.
Not the most positive post today but let’s hope tomorrow will be better. Plus it’s nine thirty pm on a friday evening my children are asleep so may be this isn’t going to be a non-writing day after all.
Laptop … hey, Laptop … where are you … coming ready or not …